Confident in the Future, Anxious in the Present

Wowsers… let me get you up to speed.

My life has been such a roller coaster lately! About four weeks ago I was notified (along with every other HR Manager with Home Depot) that I would be losing my job as of May 1st. As soon as the call was over I had an email in my Inbox from a former co-worker who is now working for Ameren. Without getting into the background details, she knew ahead of time that I would be losing my job and had already begun looking for a position for me with Ameren. In just a few minutes I went from emotionally dejected to excited about getting out of retail!

That night I stayed up late updating my resume and emailed it to her. A couple of days later I we spoke and she excitedly informed me that one of her managers really wanted me to apply for another position that would be a significant career builder for me. So I immediately went online and applied for that position along with another position that would have been right down my alley.

The next week we had to decide whether or not we wanted to apply for the handful of new positions created at Home Depot. Initially I didn’t want to, but I decided it would be a smart thing to do. The day before the interview I looked up my applications on the Ameren site and both said that I was not selected because I was not qualified! What a bummer! And the HR Mgrs at Ameren suggested that I apply for them.

The next day I had my interview for the new HD positions. And while it was an early morning interview, and my brain usually doesn’t work until around Noon, I knocked it out of the ballpark. Because of the good interview, and because a number of my fellow HR co-workers had been calling my up asking for interviewing advice, and because many of those folks told me that they thought the interview was really hard, I thought that I had a good chance of getting one of the new positions. Plus, I brought to the table a skill set that literally no one else in the area has – technology.

Well, to make a long story short, I found out a few days later that the offers for the positions had already been made and that I was not offered a position. So I spent that weekend disappointed and contemplating what to do next. During this time I got myself pretty excited about the idea of having some time off and maybe going on the backpacking trip I’ve dreamed of going on since I was 18. So by the time Monday rolled around I was in pretty good spirits, still anxious, but in good spirits. Then I got the “official” call telling me that I didn’t get the job and that I could go ahead and leave for good. However, I was also asked to reconsider taking an Assistant Manager position that I had already turned down. Ahhhh! I thought I had this all figured out already and now another decision to make!

To top things off I found out that my primary confidant at work had been lying to me for the past few days. She had been telling me that she hadn’t heard any news when all along she had already been offered a position. You know, my friends would never lie to me, so it really did not sit very well with me that she lied to me.

So now here I am, frustrated about being lied to and because I had already decided that I was going to enjoy a few months off work and now I have to make a decision about this Assistant Manager position. It will have crazy hours, will jack up my social life on the weekends, may interfere with church, etc. The logical and “responsible” thing to do though is for me to take the position. Ugh.

I’m normally not an emotional basket case, but it’s great to know that God loves me and that I have close friends who are praying for me.

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but the Lord’s purposes prevail.” – Proverbs 19:21

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